Thy Will Be Done

November 15, 2017

By. Debra Benson, Woman of Malvern

I am still musing over the holidays and what is being asked of me by my family and the Lord. Yes, you read right – the Lord.  I look back on my early family years with my children and remember the traditions and memories we made together.  I homeschooled my children so a lot of time was spent in the kitchen creating crafts and baking from scratch.  I remember buying pumpkins, hollowing them out, roasting the flesh and pureeing it all in the blender.  Then I would make the crust, pour in the filling and bake.  How pretty the filling looked with the dark orange flecks from the skin of the pumpkin.  I usually had to press for accolades from my family before it was devoured.  I am not knocking the bakers of the world who show so much love for their families through this gift and talent.  I am not a baker, so these acts of love were hard for me.  They left me exhausted, along with the other menu items that my mom made from scratch, and I felt I needed to carry on NO MATTER THE COST.  I did not pray much then.  I grew resentful of the lack of help and stress I felt.  Mom did all this herself; I will be a martyr and follow suit.

There have been a number of seasons that have come and gone in the life of our family.  Some joyful and some filled with great suffering.

I have come to realize through my spiritual journey my need for radical surrender to the will of the Holy Spirit.  We have carried some traditions forward and are forging new ones at present.  The difference now is my willingness to place my will behind His plans for me each day.  I begin each day with that prayer.

I placed unreal expectations upon myself trying to recreate a perfect childhood that does not exist.  Today I live in the present with all it has to offer, the good and the not so good, looking to the Lord for my strength and my joy.